So here I am again, after two years.
So much has happened in my writing journey. I self-published a book, had that book featured as a text in a college course, promptly took the book off of Amazon and began re-writes, wrote a first draft of another story, and am working on revisions for that one. I've been kinda busy.
On top of all this, I moved to a new school, back to 5th grade, am teaching math for the first time ever (not a fan), and moved apartments. Things seem to be going a mile a minute!
I've found that 2018 was a year of writing discovery. I finished the first draft of my WIP (work in progress) in about a year, which was a first. It was also the first manuscript I'd finished since I started college in 2009. I thought I was just the hottest thing smoking, and was so excited to set a deadline to finish edits and rewrites so that I could start the process of submitting to publishers.
But then I got a harsh reality check.
My two best friends started close reading my work and began pointing out plot weaknesses, character weaknesses, cliches, and a host of other things that I in my haste failed to recognize. Some things should have been easy fixes (read: there were typos. Multiple typos.), other things would have taken a little more critical reading. After the feedback from both my friends and the college class that read the first chapters of "General Leila," I was quick to take if off of Amazon. I was embarrassed.
Fun fact about me, I don't take criticism well. I don't know how long this has been a thing, but I know this is one of my flaws. Hearing all of the things that were wrong with both of my manuscripts hurt. Like on a deep, guttural level. I don't have any kids, so my writing is my baby. So hearing that there was so much wrong really set me back. Almost made me want to stop writing.
I told my friends that hearing from both of them at the same time felt like I was getting punched in the face. Being sensitive like this isn't a good thing for someone who wants to be published, I know. I'm working on it. But I'm so grateful to have friends who believe in me enough to tell me the truth. No matter how much I don't want to hear it. One of my friends said, "We'll deal with feelings later." At first I was so mad at him. But after I let things ruminate, I realized that he was right. My feelings can keep me from producing my best work, and that's not going to help me to reach my goal of being a (well-known) published author.
I've started rewrites on "Leila," and I've sent the first chapter to one of my best friends for critiques before I get too far in. I'm leaving the other manuscript alone for a bit while I figure out stronger character motivations and such, though I'll pop in on it every now and then.
I purposefully didn't set any writing resolutions for this new year because setting goals like that causes me to rush, and I'm trying to avoid that. Instead, I'm trying to engage in writing exercises and actually leave my apartment to experience things (you think that it's nothing, but I'm a hard core introvert). Any time that I feel the inspiration, I'll write a note in my phone. Describe scenery, write a conversation, even dramatize thoughts and emotions that I'm dealing with at the moment. I'm doing research on creating worlds and romantic character arcs. My bestie sends me links and books to check out. My other bestie reads and critiques (which you know is a labor of love, because he doesn't really read fiction regularly).
I'm also going to get back to this blog. I'm trying to broaden my writing horizons, so this will be another outlet. I might post short stories or scenes, or my responses to writing prompts. I haven't decided how frequently I'll post either (I'm still a full-time teacher, after all), but I'll figure it out.
2019 will be a year of growth.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.”
― Octavia E. Butler
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