The Importance of Relations

One week closer to Spring Break! ....and teachers are getting sick and dropping like flies. I haven't gotten sick yet, so everyone thinks I'm going down next. I'm trying my hardest to make sure that doesn't happen....

Anyway, it's been a pretty nice week. The third quarter is over, which means it's almost time to start planning for end of the year testing. Funnnnnn. My mentor teacher visited me yesterday, and one of her comments to me was "You have such a great relationship with your kids, and it shows!"

It got me to thinking.

As an artist who takes inspiration from my own life, the relationships that I have influence the relationships that I describe in my stories. The teacher/student relationship that I have with my babies, the parent/child relationship I have with my parents, the coworker relationships, the sibling relationships, and the brother/sister from another mother/mister relationships all flavor the way that I see the world. While some of these relationships may have similarities, they all have a different impact on my life.

I started thinking about the relationships that I describe in my stories. The story I'm working on features a brother/sister duo, where the brother is the oldest but the sister acts like the mother. They have a playful relationship with one of their coworkers. Already I begin to see how differently I would describe these relationships if I did not have the experiences that I have had.

Relationships aren't really in the forefront of my stories, though they form an important part; just like your brain isn't the first thing that people see, but your face wouldn't work without it. The trick is finding subtle ways to explain these relationships; little interactions between people that show their feelings towards one another. I'm not going to lie, sometimes it can be challenging. But someone gave me advice one day a long time ago, and it is advice that I tell my students today. "Show, don't tell." So rather than spend time writing long paragraphs describing the relationships between the characters, I take the time to craft dialogue and actions that let the reader figure it out for themselves.

My experience as an actor also showed me the importance of relationships and interactions; though you are portraying a character, you have to draw from your own experiences to bring your character to life. It was an extremely challenging task for me to play a character who had fallen in love, because I had never been. However, I have played a sister and a servant; and for these roles I had some background knowledge.

I'm not going to say that it is impossible to write about (or perform) relationships that you've never had; what I will say is that the more relationships that you are in, the easier it is to write. I'm a firm believer that God has made me wait to have anything published because I had not had enough world experience to make my writing believable. But now that He has given me the feeling that I'll publish something this year, I'm doing my best to use the knowledge that I have to improve my craft. Let's see how this turns out!


“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.” 
― Henry David Thoreau

My Harshest Critic

Another week closer to Spring Break (which, for the east coast, doesn't start until April). Oddly enough, we just had our first snow day of the school year this week. That's fine, though. I most certainly enjoyed it!

It's been an extremely restful week; I don't really say that during the school year, but it really has. Lesson plans are done, grades nearly so, and I have time to think about what we'll be doing in two weeks. In addition, my babies have been making significant process in their writing (which, as you may have guessed, makes me really happy)!

As I spent time this week grading some of their writing and leaving constructive criticism, I could not help but think about how critical I can be of my own writing. I don't like showing people my work in progress because I always think that it can be better. I constantly am writing and erasing, writing and erasing. It's hard for me to just write until I can write no more during a session, because I immediately see errors that I've made or things that just don't make sense.

It's a little easier when I'm working on longer projects, like I am now, because the continuity problems such as someone's name being spelled three different ways are much farther away from each other. Still, as an editing session with my best friend proved, I can freak out over tiny mistakes that literally anyone would make.

I began wondering...is this what is holding me back from making more progress on my work? Is being too critical the hobble that I'm putting on my metaphorical leg?

People close to me will tell you that I'm critical of everything I do. Which is why I don't show my creating to others often. Writing, drawing, even dancing. If I think it's terrible, you'll never see it. Even my teaching is subject to my harshness, which explains why I'm surprised when my evaluations of late have been stellar. It just goes to show you (me) that you are your worst critic.

So that is my focus this week. Don't be so critical. It may seem simple, but I know that it will be important for me to succeed. Let's see how it goes!

"One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple."

- Jack Kerouac

Women's Inspiration

Despite it almost being spring, it seems the weather here is determined to dump snow on us. The weather has been fluctuating between unseasonably warm and bone shatteringly cold, which has left many of my school's students and teachers out sick this week. Believe me, Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer have been my best friends!

This week something happened at the last minute that really reinforced the power that a group of people can have when they put their minds to it. Wednesday was International Women's Day, as well as the "Day Without a Woman" protest. There were so many women in my school district who took off work that the superintendent cancelled school for the students!

As usual, I tried to think about the power of women in my writing. Most of my protagonists are women; after all, I am one. My heroines tend to be women of power or skill, who also have personal demons to wrestle with. But the story that I'm working on is different. My heroine is still a girl, but she's an ordinary person with a nine-to-five who lives her adventures through books (kinda like me in that respect). Even though she does not have the recognition or power that my previous heroines have had, she still manages to have a huge impact on those around her.

I write about women because I know how incredibly complex and diverse we are. There is no one mixture of skills, beliefs, or looks that create the perfect woman; so there is never a shortage of them to read about. The women who made statements on the "Day Without A Woman" were not all powerful and well-known people; they were teachers, and mothers, and wives who are not known outside of their friends, family, and work groups. But their decision to either take off from work, wear red, or shop at only female owned stores on that day sent a powerful message.

I don't want to create stories about the typical woman who falls easily in love with her knight in shining armor; instead, I want to write about normal women who are just trying to live their live and encounter new things along the way. I want women and girls like me, who's only dangerous adventure comes from reading a book, to be able to relate with the women in my stories. I want the impact that women can have to be real and relatable to everyone who reads my stories.

My best friend and editor thinks that I'll finish a book this year; I'm praying that it happens. Until it does, I'll keep on writing about my ladies and taking inspiration from the ones around me.

“What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain.”
― Maya Angelou

Why Are You Doing This?

This time last year, my fellow first year teacher and I were counting down the seconds (instead of days) until school was finally out for the year. Things were so bad that we dreaded coming to work.

If you had seen me teaching then, you would understand the complete turn around that I've had.

As a matter of fact, around this time last year I was starting to become more confident in my teaching skills. Now, after receiving a great evaluation, I see that it was smart to stick it out and not let my terrible first year of teaching scare me away forever.

I had many mentors in the building, but one gave me some words of wisdom that have stuck with me. "The kids can tell when someone is only here to make a paycheck, and trust me, they have it worse than you. When you are really there for them, that's when you can find your reason to keep going."

That advice, along with the advice of others, helped me get to where I am as a teacher.

What does that have to do with writing?

Well, it gets me thinking about my future. Do I want to write books for fame and money? Honestly, I can say that the answer is no. I have had countless dreams and ideas that I want to share with people because of my love of a good story. This is what keeps me going, no matter how many times I've had stories rejected or critiqued to bits. I'm here for the art of it, the freedom of expression that writing provides. If I was in this for the money, I'd have abandoned writing a long time ago!

I know that writing is my passion, and I will continue to write to fulfill that passion. If someone were to ask me why I write, I would tell them this: God didn't give me this gift to not do anything with it. If this is what he wants me to do with my life, then I'll do it. If He means for this to be the way that I pay my bills, so be it. If not, oh well. At least I won't be sitting on what He's given me.

“You can make anything by writing.” 
― C.S. Lewis