Can you believe that it's already almost February? I'm blown away by it myself.
The weeks seem to be dragging by, while the weekends fly by too quickly. And here we are again, at another weekend which will probably be gone before you know it.
I'm sad to report that I haven't done much writing this week. Circumstances beyond my control have left me collapsing into bed far past my bedtime, with only the energy to move a thumb (to scroll through facebook...) Not a great excuse, I know. But hey, as long as I'm alive there is another opportunity to start again.
I still have been daydreaming and imagining things, though. One of the crucial parts of my personal writing process is imagining what will happen in my stories; what people will say, how they will say it, and why. If you ever catch me acting strangely or talking to myself when I'm alone, chances are that I'm trying to find the right words to bring my imagination to the page.
When I was still in my teens and writing, my youngest sister once caught me scowling at the computer screen. "What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously, regarding me as if I was crazy.
"Um...trying to find the right word..." I said, embarrassed.
Though I laugh about it now, I realize that, in some respects, I have grown in confidence in my writing. True, allowing others to read it and give me feedback still terrifies me; however, I will actually give it to those I trust. I also find that I can whip up an example passage for my students and it be passably okay. My willingness to act out my words has also proven helpful in teaching my students the importance of the words that you choose in your writing.
Today I demonstrated the difference between "Ms. Ross walked across the classroom" and "Ms. Ross stumbled across the classroom." The kids immediately began giving other examples of how I walked across the classroom; I found myself having to stop them so that we could move on with the lesson.
I'm not the most confident of people, I'll admit it. But when I'm in my element, doing something that I love to do, I have just a wee bit more confidence. Maybe I can get it to spill over into other elements of my life, like singing. Until then, my writing will have to do.
One thing that I love about writing is that I can inhabit worlds that don't exist; I can be characters that exhibit characteristics that I wish I had (swordfighting. I really wish I knew how to use a sword, even though it really makes no sense). Writing allows me not only to experience them in a way, but to share them with others. I guess that's the reason that some (all) of my main characters have my quirks.
So I guess my point is, I write because I need the outlet. As we move into February, I'm hopeful that I can use that outlet even more.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Friday, January 27, 2017
Friday, January 20, 2017
The Mind Is a Curious Thing
For a writer, it could be said that the mind is your most important tool. Therefore it is important to cultivate it, to challenge it. Read, watch the news, etc. This week seems to have been the week for that.
Daily, I let my imagination wander. But there have been some serious real-world issues that have truly been making my thoughts run rampant.
The inauguration was today. I don't like sharing my political opinion, so I'll just say that our new president has made many of the people around me worry.
This week, I saw a part of the documentary "Thirteen" by Ava Duvernay. I'd been meaning to see the whole thing, but you know how life can get you caught up. Anyway. I was captivated by the pictures and interviews I saw. African Americans have been through so much, however, having only been born in 1991, I'm far removed from any of the Civil Rights Movement and the fight that was fought to win us equal rights. Reading about it and watching movies and documentaries isn't the same as living through it.
However, I got to hear from someone that lived during that era, and my mind was blown.
One of the older gentlemen that I work with told my class that he was present during the Birmingham Children's March (which I had never heard of), and that he had been arrested along with several other young boys, held in an enclosure for seven days, and even has scars on his legs from dog bites. I was in awe of this man and his experiences. You would never know from meeting him that he had been through anything like that; yet here he was, calmly recounting these events to a group of ten year olds (and an equally awed 25 year old!) as if he was telling us about visits to his grandmother's.
This really sent my mind into overdrive.
Most of a writer's stories are flavored by experiences that they've had or stories they've read or heard. I've been busily thinking about the emotions and thoughts that people in that era must have experienced. The reasons that people from our history decided to put their lives on the line for what they believed. Why they were willing to stand up for something. These emotions and thoughts that people had as they marched and were beaten and arrested and more, what drove them?
It's important for a writer to make connections to their audience. Taking from these real-world experiences and filtering them through my writing ensures that people have some thread of connection, rather than just reading words on a page. The best stories are those that intertwine the human spirit with the words; these are the stories that you remember for years and go back to over and over again. Lord of the Rings showed me courage and adventure. The Cooper Kids series by Frank Peretti (the author who first inspired me to begin writing) showed me that trust in God didn't have to be shoehorned into a plot just because the writer was the Christian; rather, it was simply a truth that the characters believed. The challenge for myself is to capture feelings like these in my writing.
By the time that this year is over, I hope to be able to say that with confidence. To reach that goal, I will continue to read and write and experience the world around me and the history that I am a part of. You never know; maybe the words that I use will make people think the way that my colleagues words made me think.
"Be passionate and move forward with gusto every single hour of every single day until you reach your goal." - Ava DuVernay
Daily, I let my imagination wander. But there have been some serious real-world issues that have truly been making my thoughts run rampant.
The inauguration was today. I don't like sharing my political opinion, so I'll just say that our new president has made many of the people around me worry.
This week, I saw a part of the documentary "Thirteen" by Ava Duvernay. I'd been meaning to see the whole thing, but you know how life can get you caught up. Anyway. I was captivated by the pictures and interviews I saw. African Americans have been through so much, however, having only been born in 1991, I'm far removed from any of the Civil Rights Movement and the fight that was fought to win us equal rights. Reading about it and watching movies and documentaries isn't the same as living through it.
However, I got to hear from someone that lived during that era, and my mind was blown.
One of the older gentlemen that I work with told my class that he was present during the Birmingham Children's March (which I had never heard of), and that he had been arrested along with several other young boys, held in an enclosure for seven days, and even has scars on his legs from dog bites. I was in awe of this man and his experiences. You would never know from meeting him that he had been through anything like that; yet here he was, calmly recounting these events to a group of ten year olds (and an equally awed 25 year old!) as if he was telling us about visits to his grandmother's.
This really sent my mind into overdrive.
Most of a writer's stories are flavored by experiences that they've had or stories they've read or heard. I've been busily thinking about the emotions and thoughts that people in that era must have experienced. The reasons that people from our history decided to put their lives on the line for what they believed. Why they were willing to stand up for something. These emotions and thoughts that people had as they marched and were beaten and arrested and more, what drove them?
It's important for a writer to make connections to their audience. Taking from these real-world experiences and filtering them through my writing ensures that people have some thread of connection, rather than just reading words on a page. The best stories are those that intertwine the human spirit with the words; these are the stories that you remember for years and go back to over and over again. Lord of the Rings showed me courage and adventure. The Cooper Kids series by Frank Peretti (the author who first inspired me to begin writing) showed me that trust in God didn't have to be shoehorned into a plot just because the writer was the Christian; rather, it was simply a truth that the characters believed. The challenge for myself is to capture feelings like these in my writing.
By the time that this year is over, I hope to be able to say that with confidence. To reach that goal, I will continue to read and write and experience the world around me and the history that I am a part of. You never know; maybe the words that I use will make people think the way that my colleagues words made me think.
"Be passionate and move forward with gusto every single hour of every single day until you reach your goal." - Ava DuVernay
Friday, January 13, 2017
New Year, Old Memories
What a week, what a week, what a week!
My brain is struggling, so it's a short post this week.
By Tuesday my fellow teachers and I were all exhausted.
Wednesday one of my students (5th grade!) drew an inappropriate picture in class.
Thursday, one of my girl students was calling the other girls inappropriate names on the playground at recess.
This morning I overslept and was almost late to work.
I'm so tired.
There were a few bright spots. One of my special education students has talked to me more this week than he has for the whole year. A lady who is coming to formally observe me next week just stepped in to say hello to me, then went to my principal and told her how impressed she was with my teaching. And, after nearly a month of not being able to drive my car, I got it back.
I'll be honest though, I'm so looking forward to this long weekend.
On the writing side, it's been an interesting week. I managed to write something almost every day. Granted, sometimes it was only a sentence, but it's a good way to start the habit. My dear best friend has been my constant support, asking me daily if I've written anything.
Something else that made me really happy was the return of my daydreams. My best friend and siblings can tell you that most of my story ideas come from dreams; they came back in force last month. Now the day dreaming that allows me to flesh out my writing by thinking through characters, figuring out plot, and even figure out phrasing has returned. I'm not even sure when it started, but I caught myself doing it on the way to school this week.
It really feels like a confirmation for me. I set my goals this year based on just a feeling (more than likely a prodding from God), and now my mind is getting back together to reach those goals.
Even though it was a rough week, I'm starting to get excited for this year. Let's see what we can create, 2017
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
– Arthur Ashe
My brain is struggling, so it's a short post this week.
By Tuesday my fellow teachers and I were all exhausted.
Wednesday one of my students (5th grade!) drew an inappropriate picture in class.
Thursday, one of my girl students was calling the other girls inappropriate names on the playground at recess.
This morning I overslept and was almost late to work.
I'm so tired.
There were a few bright spots. One of my special education students has talked to me more this week than he has for the whole year. A lady who is coming to formally observe me next week just stepped in to say hello to me, then went to my principal and told her how impressed she was with my teaching. And, after nearly a month of not being able to drive my car, I got it back.
I'll be honest though, I'm so looking forward to this long weekend.
On the writing side, it's been an interesting week. I managed to write something almost every day. Granted, sometimes it was only a sentence, but it's a good way to start the habit. My dear best friend has been my constant support, asking me daily if I've written anything.
Something else that made me really happy was the return of my daydreams. My best friend and siblings can tell you that most of my story ideas come from dreams; they came back in force last month. Now the day dreaming that allows me to flesh out my writing by thinking through characters, figuring out plot, and even figure out phrasing has returned. I'm not even sure when it started, but I caught myself doing it on the way to school this week.
It really feels like a confirmation for me. I set my goals this year based on just a feeling (more than likely a prodding from God), and now my mind is getting back together to reach those goals.
Even though it was a rough week, I'm starting to get excited for this year. Let's see what we can create, 2017
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
– Arthur Ashe
Friday, January 6, 2017
...And the Beginning of 2017
Happy New Year, one and all!
This was the first year that I spent New Year's Eve not at church, not at a youth group gathering, but actually in Times Square in NYC! Let me be the first to tell you, that was a hot mess.
In case you ever plan on seeing the ball drop in the home of Broadway, I offer a few suggestions. First. if you actually want to see the ball, plan on being there for literally the entire day. A cop that we asked told us that people had been gathering since 6 a.m. on December 31st to get into Times Square. As the blocks fill up, they barricade off more and more blocks. Once you're in, you're in. You leave, you don't get back in.
My friends and I, anticipating this, made sandwiches and snacks and brought water in two separate backpacks for the six of us. The snag? Owing to all of the backpack bombings at public events, neither backpacks nor strollers were allowed inside of the barricades. Which left us with a dilemma. What were we going to do?
Per the officer's suggestion, we decided to find an avenue where we could at least see the fireworks and confetti that would be released at midnight. Luckily it was in the 30s outside, rather than the much colder temperatures that NYC can offer. So here we are, bundled up like eskimos with hats, scarves, and gloves, ready to face the New Year with good friends and an optimistic look towards the future.
Until most of the group decided to go to a party and view the fireworks from across the water, inside, instead of in the cold NYC streets.
But you know what? As my best friend said, it was an experience. I can say that I was in New York City to welcome in the New Year.
Now to get back to real life and teaching.
I'm not going to lie; even though we only had about a week and a half off of work, I enjoyed every minute of it. Not to say that I wouldn't enjoy more of it, but hey, take what you can get.
The grind of preparing students for state testing is about to begin. Not looking forward to that at all. In addition, you almost have to reprogram the kids to remind them about how to behave in your classroom; you'd be amazed at how quickly they forget.
But anyway.
I decided not to do resolutions this year. Every time that I set a "resolution" it never lasts. I think it's something to do with it seeming such a high standard and putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish it that I get tired of it. Quickly. Instead, I've decided to set myself a few personal goals for the year.
It's been years since I've completely finished a novel; 2009, to be exact (the year that I started college - that explains a lot!) I'm long overdue. But what with the classes and homework and theatre and singing and then teaching, time and focus was not something that I had in abundance. But now that the only thing that I'm doing is teaching, I can practice time management to allow myself time to be creative.
To that point, I've decided a few things.
First, I'm going to finish a novel this year. I need to get my mojo back, and the only way to do that is to get writing. I also plan to complete several short stories and get them published; that's a good way to let people see my writing and what I'm capable of. To that end, I'm making myself write a little every day. Even if it is just a sentence, or going back and editing earlier stuff in that story, I'm gonna do it. I don't yet have the luxury of writing being my full time job where I can start writing whenever and for however long that I want; that's the goal. I'm about to start my stretches. If you want something, you have to chase it. That's what I'm going to do.
Thankfully, I have a cheerleader who always has words of encouragement and support for my writing. My BFFFEE (Best Friend Forever and Ever) is constantly asking me about my writing and how things are going. She's not going to let me rest, and that's exactly what I need.
Time to chase my dream. What dream are you chasing?
“The only thing worse than starting something and failing … is not starting something.” – Seth Godin
This was the first year that I spent New Year's Eve not at church, not at a youth group gathering, but actually in Times Square in NYC! Let me be the first to tell you, that was a hot mess.
In case you ever plan on seeing the ball drop in the home of Broadway, I offer a few suggestions. First. if you actually want to see the ball, plan on being there for literally the entire day. A cop that we asked told us that people had been gathering since 6 a.m. on December 31st to get into Times Square. As the blocks fill up, they barricade off more and more blocks. Once you're in, you're in. You leave, you don't get back in.
My friends and I, anticipating this, made sandwiches and snacks and brought water in two separate backpacks for the six of us. The snag? Owing to all of the backpack bombings at public events, neither backpacks nor strollers were allowed inside of the barricades. Which left us with a dilemma. What were we going to do?
Per the officer's suggestion, we decided to find an avenue where we could at least see the fireworks and confetti that would be released at midnight. Luckily it was in the 30s outside, rather than the much colder temperatures that NYC can offer. So here we are, bundled up like eskimos with hats, scarves, and gloves, ready to face the New Year with good friends and an optimistic look towards the future.
Until most of the group decided to go to a party and view the fireworks from across the water, inside, instead of in the cold NYC streets.
But you know what? As my best friend said, it was an experience. I can say that I was in New York City to welcome in the New Year.
Now to get back to real life and teaching.
I'm not going to lie; even though we only had about a week and a half off of work, I enjoyed every minute of it. Not to say that I wouldn't enjoy more of it, but hey, take what you can get.
The grind of preparing students for state testing is about to begin. Not looking forward to that at all. In addition, you almost have to reprogram the kids to remind them about how to behave in your classroom; you'd be amazed at how quickly they forget.
But anyway.
I decided not to do resolutions this year. Every time that I set a "resolution" it never lasts. I think it's something to do with it seeming such a high standard and putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish it that I get tired of it. Quickly. Instead, I've decided to set myself a few personal goals for the year.
It's been years since I've completely finished a novel; 2009, to be exact (the year that I started college - that explains a lot!) I'm long overdue. But what with the classes and homework and theatre and singing and then teaching, time and focus was not something that I had in abundance. But now that the only thing that I'm doing is teaching, I can practice time management to allow myself time to be creative.
To that point, I've decided a few things.
First, I'm going to finish a novel this year. I need to get my mojo back, and the only way to do that is to get writing. I also plan to complete several short stories and get them published; that's a good way to let people see my writing and what I'm capable of. To that end, I'm making myself write a little every day. Even if it is just a sentence, or going back and editing earlier stuff in that story, I'm gonna do it. I don't yet have the luxury of writing being my full time job where I can start writing whenever and for however long that I want; that's the goal. I'm about to start my stretches. If you want something, you have to chase it. That's what I'm going to do.
Thankfully, I have a cheerleader who always has words of encouragement and support for my writing. My BFFFEE (Best Friend Forever and Ever) is constantly asking me about my writing and how things are going. She's not going to let me rest, and that's exactly what I need.
Time to chase my dream. What dream are you chasing?
“The only thing worse than starting something and failing … is not starting something.” – Seth Godin
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