Support System

You have no idea how much support means, not just to writers, but to anyone who has a dream.

But support doesn't always look the same.

One of the things that I've come to accept about myself is that I do not take criticism well. Like, I want to ball up and cry and never do whatever it was that I was criticized for ever again. Even though I've known it for a long time, I think the latter part of 2018 really made me face the music in a way that I'd refused to do before.

For years, most of the feedback that I got about my writing was from my family. My brother is notoriously short in his answers; about the most I would get from him was, "I like it."

My parents did what parents are supposed to, telling me how great I was and how proud of me they were.

I asked my BFF to read my work and help me to edit it when I decided to self-publish my first book "General Leila." She has a tendency to be brutally honest, but I didn't listen to all of her feedback since I was in such a rush to finish. As a result, errors were made (both simple spelling errors and more complicated issues with plot and character development).

It was such an amazing feeling holding the proof copy in my hands. Finally, my dream was coming true!

It didn't sell so well.

I chalked it up to the fact that I know nothing about marketing, and teaching made it rather hard to focus on anything else. But then, about a year after it was published, my other best friend decided to put it on his syllabus for his freshman college class. Sensibly, he started reading it before teaching (don't fault him for not reading it sooner; my preferred writing genres are not his preferred reading genres). The feedback he gave me shook me badly.

I don't know how I ended up with two best friends who are as blunt as hammers; the two of them together pointing out all of the errors in "General Leila" really made me feel about an inch tall. I was forced to listen to the original feedback my BFF had given me, as well as the added feedback from my other best friend. I felt like if my writing was this bad, then maybe I should just give up on my dreams. I quickly removed it from sale as soon as his class was over (they had much of the same criticisms) and put away both it and my work in progress. I didn't want to look at a word document ever again, and I just felt defeated.

But.

Remember what I said about support?

My other best friend asked, "Was it really that bad?"

I explained to him that I knew of my difficulty in accepting criticism, and I was trying to deal with it rationally, but I felt injured. I told him that all of their combined feedback made me feel like my writing was garbage.

He gently reminded me that they didn't give me the feedback to break me down; rather, they knew the potential that I have to be great and they wanted me to put my best work out there. They would be with me every step of the way, providing feedback and challenges to help me to broaden my writing repertoire. (This comment was followed swiftly by a text of support from my BFF.)

So far I've re-written about a chapter and a half of "General Leila," and I'm doing the background work on my work in progress to really make it solid. I've started doing writing exercises and I make it a point to write something every day. Has it been easy? Don't make me laugh.

But you know what this experience reminded me? With those two, my writing career has the best support system a girl could ask for. Sure, getting feedback can be hard. (Especially with those two.) However, knowing that those two are going to be brutally honest until they and I feel like it's as good as it can be really helps to keep me going.

So I continue to work, knowing that my support system will never let me down.


"You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus, and the support." Sabrina Bryan