For a couple of weeks, I've been teaching poetry to my students. I wrote a poem for them as an example, and realized how powerful a writing exercise it was. I've found it a good way to challenge myself to make more of an impact with fewer words. So without further ado, here is the poem I wrote this week!
Dreaming by J. Ross
2/2019
Dreaming.
Dreaming that dream that seems just out of reach.
Dreaming of the strength to let others see,
to reveal the innermost parts of me that make me want to scream.
Hoping.
Hoping that this dream is not a fantasy, a way to pass my time instead of living in reality.
Hoping to find validity in my own ability.
Hoping that this drive,
this passion will not take me down a road that will destroy me.
Praying.
Praying that I press on.
Praying that I don't lose the love for my craft while waiting.
Praying for the strength to keep writing,
even though nothing seems to be happening.
Working.
Working through boredom, through frustration, through anger.
Working to improve and be brave enough to leave compliments, my shelter.
Working so that one day I can move from praying, and hoping, and dreaming
to living.
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Monday, February 11, 2019
Milestones
I realized something today.
I've been spending so much time looking forward and pressing on to that mark of producing the best novel that I possibly could that I forgot about celebrating how far I've come. So this post is dedicated to the milestones that mark my growth in my writing career.
2001.
With the help of my dad to learn how to use Microsoft Word, I wrote my first short story. Was it good? Abso-positively-not. Whereas now many of my stories are inspired by dreams I've had, my first story was a straight transcription of a dream with no creative extension. I still have it saved on my computer for sentimental reasons, but otherwise it will never again see the light of day if I have anything to do with it. But this first story led to another, and another, until I had nearly a hundred partially completed manuscripts on my computer. Were any of them good? Again, no. But this early passion for writing soon helped me to develop the perseverance to complete a manuscript.
2009.
The year I finished a manuscript (which later became General Leila - more on that in a minute) and the year I started college. By this point I'd written a couple story series (one of my writing role models was Christian author Frank Peretti, who had several book series that I loved) and a couple of manuscripts. These also will only ever be seen by my siblings, who were my first beta readers. But Leila was huge for me. I discovered my love of creating elaborate twists and subplots within a story, mysteries that the reader would be dying to uncover. But then college started, and I found that I had neither the time nor the brainpower to work on anything else. I would get ideas and manage a few feeble lines, but I had not yet developed my "beginning of the story" skills and would soon get discouraged when things didn't immediately take off; besides, I had homework to do. It wasn't until seven years later (don't judge me) when I got my master's degree that I was really able to commit to writing again like I really wanted to.
2017.
Two big things happened this year. First, I decided to revisit General Leila, do some cleaning up, and self-publish it. When I held that proof copy in my hands, I felt like my dreams were finally coming true. I was so excited! ...but it didn't sell. I chalked it up to my busy teaching schedule not giving me any time to market my book like I wanted. (As I know now, the book needed me to have more patience in editing and for me to read a bit closer...)
Second, one of my best friends suggested to me that I try plotting out my story ahead of time. I was really resistant; it seemed like another step that I didn't have time for, especially since I was teaching full time. But he was persistent, and I found that this extra step actually saved me time. I was able to finish in just a year from start to finish! ...at least, the first draft.
2018.
I finished my first draft and started heavy edits. I was determined to have it ready to send to publishers by the top of the next year. But between the two of them, my best friends helped me to realize that both that draft and General Leila needed heavy revisions. I was extremely discouraged and it took me a few weeks to start writing again. But I did, and towards the end of the year, I made myself a goal to write at least a paragraph every day, no matter in what forum.
2019.
Now, nearly two months into the new year, I've been able to keep my goal. Revisions on Leila are ongoing, and I'm hopeful that the changes that I am making are for the better. Is it always easy to write every day? Nope. But if I'm going to hit that next milestone of being offered a publishing deal, then I have to keep on keeping on, as the church folk say.
So until that next milestone, I'm going to keep working hard and chasing my dream.
A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”
I've been spending so much time looking forward and pressing on to that mark of producing the best novel that I possibly could that I forgot about celebrating how far I've come. So this post is dedicated to the milestones that mark my growth in my writing career.
2001.
With the help of my dad to learn how to use Microsoft Word, I wrote my first short story. Was it good? Abso-positively-not. Whereas now many of my stories are inspired by dreams I've had, my first story was a straight transcription of a dream with no creative extension. I still have it saved on my computer for sentimental reasons, but otherwise it will never again see the light of day if I have anything to do with it. But this first story led to another, and another, until I had nearly a hundred partially completed manuscripts on my computer. Were any of them good? Again, no. But this early passion for writing soon helped me to develop the perseverance to complete a manuscript.
2009.
The year I finished a manuscript (which later became General Leila - more on that in a minute) and the year I started college. By this point I'd written a couple story series (one of my writing role models was Christian author Frank Peretti, who had several book series that I loved) and a couple of manuscripts. These also will only ever be seen by my siblings, who were my first beta readers. But Leila was huge for me. I discovered my love of creating elaborate twists and subplots within a story, mysteries that the reader would be dying to uncover. But then college started, and I found that I had neither the time nor the brainpower to work on anything else. I would get ideas and manage a few feeble lines, but I had not yet developed my "beginning of the story" skills and would soon get discouraged when things didn't immediately take off; besides, I had homework to do. It wasn't until seven years later (don't judge me) when I got my master's degree that I was really able to commit to writing again like I really wanted to.
2017.
Two big things happened this year. First, I decided to revisit General Leila, do some cleaning up, and self-publish it. When I held that proof copy in my hands, I felt like my dreams were finally coming true. I was so excited! ...but it didn't sell. I chalked it up to my busy teaching schedule not giving me any time to market my book like I wanted. (As I know now, the book needed me to have more patience in editing and for me to read a bit closer...)
Second, one of my best friends suggested to me that I try plotting out my story ahead of time. I was really resistant; it seemed like another step that I didn't have time for, especially since I was teaching full time. But he was persistent, and I found that this extra step actually saved me time. I was able to finish in just a year from start to finish! ...at least, the first draft.
2018.
I finished my first draft and started heavy edits. I was determined to have it ready to send to publishers by the top of the next year. But between the two of them, my best friends helped me to realize that both that draft and General Leila needed heavy revisions. I was extremely discouraged and it took me a few weeks to start writing again. But I did, and towards the end of the year, I made myself a goal to write at least a paragraph every day, no matter in what forum.
2019.
Now, nearly two months into the new year, I've been able to keep my goal. Revisions on Leila are ongoing, and I'm hopeful that the changes that I am making are for the better. Is it always easy to write every day? Nope. But if I'm going to hit that next milestone of being offered a publishing deal, then I have to keep on keeping on, as the church folk say.
So until that next milestone, I'm going to keep working hard and chasing my dream.
A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”
— Richard Bach
Monday, January 28, 2019
Sometimes Writing Is Depressing
So here's the thing. I love to write. I've loved writing since I was 11 years old. Back when I was not really getting any criticism, I loved it even more. I could do no wrong in my eyes; I read back over my old work and felt like I was the best writer around.
But then.
After the constructive criticism from my two best friends, I'm second guessing everything.
Phrases that I over-used, pacing, dialogue, everything. I don't quite want to say that I'm doubting myself, but I think that I am. I suppose that my concern shows how much I care about my dream profession, but this is a new feeling that I'm not used to.
Thankfully I have a strong support system, but I'm beyond stressing myself out.
It's so hard finding that balance of being confident and yet smart about your writing. Yes, be confident that you're a good writer and you know what you're doing, but don't get to the point where you can't take criticism and realize that you can almost always find something to improve. It's hard.
I also decided that I wasn't going to set any hard writing goals this year, since they tend to make me rush through and miss things. The only exception I made was to write at least a paragraph every day, and I'm proud that I've stuck to it thus far. Even if what I write is crap, it forces me to be dedicated to my work; because, hey, this is what I want to do for a living. I should take it just as seriously as I take my day job now.
The manuscript I "finished" last year has been sitting unopened for a few months. I just can't seem to find the pieces I need to make improvements to it, and it's honestly kinda frustrating. Luckily, I've been making progress on rewrites for "General Leila," so I haven't been totally unproductive. I'm constantly finding things that I wonder why I missed before, and taking things out that I'm really trying to figure out why I included them in the first place. I feel like I'm definitely growing as a writer so far, so I'll take it.
One of my best friends reminded me that it took Lin Manuel Miranda (one of my role models) ten years to get Hamilton to the stage. I told him that I understood what he was trying to do, but that analogy made me really depressed. I'm really trying to become well-known long before that point!
I'm making steps in the right direction, though. Continuously reading, doing exercises, and above all, writing, will help me to improve my craft to the point where I can confidently submit my work to publishers and feel like I've given them the best that I could. I will continue to fight off the discouragement and push for my dreams.
After all, nothing worth having is easy.
But then.
After the constructive criticism from my two best friends, I'm second guessing everything.
Phrases that I over-used, pacing, dialogue, everything. I don't quite want to say that I'm doubting myself, but I think that I am. I suppose that my concern shows how much I care about my dream profession, but this is a new feeling that I'm not used to.
Thankfully I have a strong support system, but I'm beyond stressing myself out.
It's so hard finding that balance of being confident and yet smart about your writing. Yes, be confident that you're a good writer and you know what you're doing, but don't get to the point where you can't take criticism and realize that you can almost always find something to improve. It's hard.
I also decided that I wasn't going to set any hard writing goals this year, since they tend to make me rush through and miss things. The only exception I made was to write at least a paragraph every day, and I'm proud that I've stuck to it thus far. Even if what I write is crap, it forces me to be dedicated to my work; because, hey, this is what I want to do for a living. I should take it just as seriously as I take my day job now.
The manuscript I "finished" last year has been sitting unopened for a few months. I just can't seem to find the pieces I need to make improvements to it, and it's honestly kinda frustrating. Luckily, I've been making progress on rewrites for "General Leila," so I haven't been totally unproductive. I'm constantly finding things that I wonder why I missed before, and taking things out that I'm really trying to figure out why I included them in the first place. I feel like I'm definitely growing as a writer so far, so I'll take it.
One of my best friends reminded me that it took Lin Manuel Miranda (one of my role models) ten years to get Hamilton to the stage. I told him that I understood what he was trying to do, but that analogy made me really depressed. I'm really trying to become well-known long before that point!
I'm making steps in the right direction, though. Continuously reading, doing exercises, and above all, writing, will help me to improve my craft to the point where I can confidently submit my work to publishers and feel like I've given them the best that I could. I will continue to fight off the discouragement and push for my dreams.
After all, nothing worth having is easy.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it.
That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.”
― Octavia E. Butler
Monday, January 14, 2019
Do Actions Speak Louder than Words?
Normally right now I'd be about forty minutes deep into the reading block with my class. Since we have a snow day, however, I'm typing in my pajamas.
Over the weekend, I've been watching parts of a very popular docu-series. The emotions from the people were powerful, and I found myself being fascinated by their body language.
I'll explain.
One of the faults that was found in my writing is that I have a very limited way of showing how characters react to things. The amount of times that I wrote "glanced" in both of my works in progress makes me cringe in hindsight. So instead of using that word, I'm forcing myself to use a combination of stronger dialogue to convey what people are feeling and a more varied vocabulary. To the second point, I've been paying closer attention to people.
A writer should have many methods for improving their craft, but people watching is arguably one of the most important. The characters that we write need to be relatable to our readers, whether they be everyday people or aliens from another planet. That relatability is what draws your reader in and makes them care about the characters and what happens to them. If you can figure out how to describe your characters' reactions in a natural way, your reader might think of how they or someone in their life would react the same way.
But anyway, back to the docu-series.
There was a myriad of body language in the show. People showing guilt, pain, sadness, devastation, disbelief, deception, and more. Though their words were powerful, their body language added another layer of depth. I thought to myself, how can I utilize this in my writing?
In discussing this docu-series with a co-worker, we talked about how the social-cultural climate surrounding the people in the documentary must have influenced how people reacted to what was going on and are still reacting to it today. I realized that this was something else that I needed to think about, which would add another layer to my writing.
Before I started re-writes on "General Leila," I created character sketches for each of my characters. This is allowing me to get a better sense of who the characters are and how they would react to things. Adding in the social-cultural climate also helps me to frame them better; a highly trained General wouldn't react to a crisis in the same way that a civilian would. Things like this will help to fix some of the more grievous errors that were prevalent in my work.
That, and putting "glanced" onto my "do not use" word list.
“Be sure not to discuss your hero's state of mind. Make it clear from his actions."
(Letter to Alexander Chekhov, May 10, 1886)”
―
Over the weekend, I've been watching parts of a very popular docu-series. The emotions from the people were powerful, and I found myself being fascinated by their body language.
I'll explain.
One of the faults that was found in my writing is that I have a very limited way of showing how characters react to things. The amount of times that I wrote "glanced" in both of my works in progress makes me cringe in hindsight. So instead of using that word, I'm forcing myself to use a combination of stronger dialogue to convey what people are feeling and a more varied vocabulary. To the second point, I've been paying closer attention to people.
A writer should have many methods for improving their craft, but people watching is arguably one of the most important. The characters that we write need to be relatable to our readers, whether they be everyday people or aliens from another planet. That relatability is what draws your reader in and makes them care about the characters and what happens to them. If you can figure out how to describe your characters' reactions in a natural way, your reader might think of how they or someone in their life would react the same way.
But anyway, back to the docu-series.
There was a myriad of body language in the show. People showing guilt, pain, sadness, devastation, disbelief, deception, and more. Though their words were powerful, their body language added another layer of depth. I thought to myself, how can I utilize this in my writing?
In discussing this docu-series with a co-worker, we talked about how the social-cultural climate surrounding the people in the documentary must have influenced how people reacted to what was going on and are still reacting to it today. I realized that this was something else that I needed to think about, which would add another layer to my writing.
Before I started re-writes on "General Leila," I created character sketches for each of my characters. This is allowing me to get a better sense of who the characters are and how they would react to things. Adding in the social-cultural climate also helps me to frame them better; a highly trained General wouldn't react to a crisis in the same way that a civilian would. Things like this will help to fix some of the more grievous errors that were prevalent in my work.
That, and putting "glanced" onto my "do not use" word list.
“Be sure not to discuss your hero's state of mind. Make it clear from his actions."
(Letter to Alexander Chekhov, May 10, 1886)”
―
Monday, January 7, 2019
Support System
You have no idea how much support means, not just to writers, but to anyone who has a dream.
But support doesn't always look the same.
One of the things that I've come to accept about myself is that I do not take criticism well. Like, I want to ball up and cry and never do whatever it was that I was criticized for ever again. Even though I've known it for a long time, I think the latter part of 2018 really made me face the music in a way that I'd refused to do before.
For years, most of the feedback that I got about my writing was from my family. My brother is notoriously short in his answers; about the most I would get from him was, "I like it."
My parents did what parents are supposed to, telling me how great I was and how proud of me they were.
I asked my BFF to read my work and help me to edit it when I decided to self-publish my first book "General Leila." She has a tendency to be brutally honest, but I didn't listen to all of her feedback since I was in such a rush to finish. As a result, errors were made (both simple spelling errors and more complicated issues with plot and character development).
It was such an amazing feeling holding the proof copy in my hands. Finally, my dream was coming true!
It didn't sell so well.
I chalked it up to the fact that I know nothing about marketing, and teaching made it rather hard to focus on anything else. But then, about a year after it was published, my other best friend decided to put it on his syllabus for his freshman college class. Sensibly, he started reading it before teaching (don't fault him for not reading it sooner; my preferred writing genres are not his preferred reading genres). The feedback he gave me shook me badly.
I don't know how I ended up with two best friends who are as blunt as hammers; the two of them together pointing out all of the errors in "General Leila" really made me feel about an inch tall. I was forced to listen to the original feedback my BFF had given me, as well as the added feedback from my other best friend. I felt like if my writing was this bad, then maybe I should just give up on my dreams. I quickly removed it from sale as soon as his class was over (they had much of the same criticisms) and put away both it and my work in progress. I didn't want to look at a word document ever again, and I just felt defeated.
But.
Remember what I said about support?
My other best friend asked, "Was it really that bad?"
I explained to him that I knew of my difficulty in accepting criticism, and I was trying to deal with it rationally, but I felt injured. I told him that all of their combined feedback made me feel like my writing was garbage.
He gently reminded me that they didn't give me the feedback to break me down; rather, they knew the potential that I have to be great and they wanted me to put my best work out there. They would be with me every step of the way, providing feedback and challenges to help me to broaden my writing repertoire. (This comment was followed swiftly by a text of support from my BFF.)
So far I've re-written about a chapter and a half of "General Leila," and I'm doing the background work on my work in progress to really make it solid. I've started doing writing exercises and I make it a point to write something every day. Has it been easy? Don't make me laugh.
But you know what this experience reminded me? With those two, my writing career has the best support system a girl could ask for. Sure, getting feedback can be hard. (Especially with those two.) However, knowing that those two are going to be brutally honest until they and I feel like it's as good as it can be really helps to keep me going.
So I continue to work, knowing that my support system will never let me down.
"You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus, and the support." Sabrina Bryan
But support doesn't always look the same.
One of the things that I've come to accept about myself is that I do not take criticism well. Like, I want to ball up and cry and never do whatever it was that I was criticized for ever again. Even though I've known it for a long time, I think the latter part of 2018 really made me face the music in a way that I'd refused to do before.
For years, most of the feedback that I got about my writing was from my family. My brother is notoriously short in his answers; about the most I would get from him was, "I like it."
My parents did what parents are supposed to, telling me how great I was and how proud of me they were.
I asked my BFF to read my work and help me to edit it when I decided to self-publish my first book "General Leila." She has a tendency to be brutally honest, but I didn't listen to all of her feedback since I was in such a rush to finish. As a result, errors were made (both simple spelling errors and more complicated issues with plot and character development).
It was such an amazing feeling holding the proof copy in my hands. Finally, my dream was coming true!
It didn't sell so well.
I chalked it up to the fact that I know nothing about marketing, and teaching made it rather hard to focus on anything else. But then, about a year after it was published, my other best friend decided to put it on his syllabus for his freshman college class. Sensibly, he started reading it before teaching (don't fault him for not reading it sooner; my preferred writing genres are not his preferred reading genres). The feedback he gave me shook me badly.
I don't know how I ended up with two best friends who are as blunt as hammers; the two of them together pointing out all of the errors in "General Leila" really made me feel about an inch tall. I was forced to listen to the original feedback my BFF had given me, as well as the added feedback from my other best friend. I felt like if my writing was this bad, then maybe I should just give up on my dreams. I quickly removed it from sale as soon as his class was over (they had much of the same criticisms) and put away both it and my work in progress. I didn't want to look at a word document ever again, and I just felt defeated.
But.
Remember what I said about support?
My other best friend asked, "Was it really that bad?"
I explained to him that I knew of my difficulty in accepting criticism, and I was trying to deal with it rationally, but I felt injured. I told him that all of their combined feedback made me feel like my writing was garbage.
He gently reminded me that they didn't give me the feedback to break me down; rather, they knew the potential that I have to be great and they wanted me to put my best work out there. They would be with me every step of the way, providing feedback and challenges to help me to broaden my writing repertoire. (This comment was followed swiftly by a text of support from my BFF.)
So far I've re-written about a chapter and a half of "General Leila," and I'm doing the background work on my work in progress to really make it solid. I've started doing writing exercises and I make it a point to write something every day. Has it been easy? Don't make me laugh.
But you know what this experience reminded me? With those two, my writing career has the best support system a girl could ask for. Sure, getting feedback can be hard. (Especially with those two.) However, knowing that those two are going to be brutally honest until they and I feel like it's as good as it can be really helps to keep me going.
So I continue to work, knowing that my support system will never let me down.
"You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus, and the support." Sabrina Bryan
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Wait, I Have a Blog?
It seems like every couple of years I think about new writing goals and think "wait, I have a blog? Why haven't I been using this?"
So here I am again, after two years.
So much has happened in my writing journey. I self-published a book, had that book featured as a text in a college course, promptly took the book off of Amazon and began re-writes, wrote a first draft of another story, and am working on revisions for that one. I've been kinda busy.
On top of all this, I moved to a new school, back to 5th grade, am teaching math for the first time ever (not a fan), and moved apartments. Things seem to be going a mile a minute!
I've found that 2018 was a year of writing discovery. I finished the first draft of my WIP (work in progress) in about a year, which was a first. It was also the first manuscript I'd finished since I started college in 2009. I thought I was just the hottest thing smoking, and was so excited to set a deadline to finish edits and rewrites so that I could start the process of submitting to publishers.
But then I got a harsh reality check.
My two best friends started close reading my work and began pointing out plot weaknesses, character weaknesses, cliches, and a host of other things that I in my haste failed to recognize. Some things should have been easy fixes (read: there were typos. Multiple typos.), other things would have taken a little more critical reading. After the feedback from both my friends and the college class that read the first chapters of "General Leila," I was quick to take if off of Amazon. I was embarrassed.
Fun fact about me, I don't take criticism well. I don't know how long this has been a thing, but I know this is one of my flaws. Hearing all of the things that were wrong with both of my manuscripts hurt. Like on a deep, guttural level. I don't have any kids, so my writing is my baby. So hearing that there was so much wrong really set me back. Almost made me want to stop writing.
I told my friends that hearing from both of them at the same time felt like I was getting punched in the face. Being sensitive like this isn't a good thing for someone who wants to be published, I know. I'm working on it. But I'm so grateful to have friends who believe in me enough to tell me the truth. No matter how much I don't want to hear it. One of my friends said, "We'll deal with feelings later." At first I was so mad at him. But after I let things ruminate, I realized that he was right. My feelings can keep me from producing my best work, and that's not going to help me to reach my goal of being a (well-known) published author.
I've started rewrites on "Leila," and I've sent the first chapter to one of my best friends for critiques before I get too far in. I'm leaving the other manuscript alone for a bit while I figure out stronger character motivations and such, though I'll pop in on it every now and then.
I purposefully didn't set any writing resolutions for this new year because setting goals like that causes me to rush, and I'm trying to avoid that. Instead, I'm trying to engage in writing exercises and actually leave my apartment to experience things (you think that it's nothing, but I'm a hard core introvert). Any time that I feel the inspiration, I'll write a note in my phone. Describe scenery, write a conversation, even dramatize thoughts and emotions that I'm dealing with at the moment. I'm doing research on creating worlds and romantic character arcs. My bestie sends me links and books to check out. My other bestie reads and critiques (which you know is a labor of love, because he doesn't really read fiction regularly).
I'm also going to get back to this blog. I'm trying to broaden my writing horizons, so this will be another outlet. I might post short stories or scenes, or my responses to writing prompts. I haven't decided how frequently I'll post either (I'm still a full-time teacher, after all), but I'll figure it out.
2019 will be a year of growth.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.”
So here I am again, after two years.
So much has happened in my writing journey. I self-published a book, had that book featured as a text in a college course, promptly took the book off of Amazon and began re-writes, wrote a first draft of another story, and am working on revisions for that one. I've been kinda busy.
On top of all this, I moved to a new school, back to 5th grade, am teaching math for the first time ever (not a fan), and moved apartments. Things seem to be going a mile a minute!
I've found that 2018 was a year of writing discovery. I finished the first draft of my WIP (work in progress) in about a year, which was a first. It was also the first manuscript I'd finished since I started college in 2009. I thought I was just the hottest thing smoking, and was so excited to set a deadline to finish edits and rewrites so that I could start the process of submitting to publishers.
But then I got a harsh reality check.
My two best friends started close reading my work and began pointing out plot weaknesses, character weaknesses, cliches, and a host of other things that I in my haste failed to recognize. Some things should have been easy fixes (read: there were typos. Multiple typos.), other things would have taken a little more critical reading. After the feedback from both my friends and the college class that read the first chapters of "General Leila," I was quick to take if off of Amazon. I was embarrassed.
Fun fact about me, I don't take criticism well. I don't know how long this has been a thing, but I know this is one of my flaws. Hearing all of the things that were wrong with both of my manuscripts hurt. Like on a deep, guttural level. I don't have any kids, so my writing is my baby. So hearing that there was so much wrong really set me back. Almost made me want to stop writing.
I told my friends that hearing from both of them at the same time felt like I was getting punched in the face. Being sensitive like this isn't a good thing for someone who wants to be published, I know. I'm working on it. But I'm so grateful to have friends who believe in me enough to tell me the truth. No matter how much I don't want to hear it. One of my friends said, "We'll deal with feelings later." At first I was so mad at him. But after I let things ruminate, I realized that he was right. My feelings can keep me from producing my best work, and that's not going to help me to reach my goal of being a (well-known) published author.
I've started rewrites on "Leila," and I've sent the first chapter to one of my best friends for critiques before I get too far in. I'm leaving the other manuscript alone for a bit while I figure out stronger character motivations and such, though I'll pop in on it every now and then.
I purposefully didn't set any writing resolutions for this new year because setting goals like that causes me to rush, and I'm trying to avoid that. Instead, I'm trying to engage in writing exercises and actually leave my apartment to experience things (you think that it's nothing, but I'm a hard core introvert). Any time that I feel the inspiration, I'll write a note in my phone. Describe scenery, write a conversation, even dramatize thoughts and emotions that I'm dealing with at the moment. I'm doing research on creating worlds and romantic character arcs. My bestie sends me links and books to check out. My other bestie reads and critiques (which you know is a labor of love, because he doesn't really read fiction regularly).
I'm also going to get back to this blog. I'm trying to broaden my writing horizons, so this will be another outlet. I might post short stories or scenes, or my responses to writing prompts. I haven't decided how frequently I'll post either (I'm still a full-time teacher, after all), but I'll figure it out.
2019 will be a year of growth.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.”
― Octavia E. Butler
Saturday, May 6, 2017
Guess Who's Back?
I know, I know, its been like three weeks. I apologize.
Two Saturdays in a row I was on a plane for my Spring Break; last week I was just tired and forgot.
But I'm back.
And still tired.
State testing is upon us, which means that we are busily trying to show our students that the skills they've learned all year are actually the same ones on the test; even though they look completely different. As a teacher, I hate state testing. This is only my second year of teaching, and I hate it. I have far more hope that my students will perform well this year than I did last year, but I still hate it. Those things are not at all an accurate measure of my students and what they are capable of.
But I digress; this blog is supposed to be about writing, not education policies.
I made it a point during my Spring Break to read; one of my layovers was four hours, so I made sure to have a good, thick book with me. I brought the Lord of the Rings trilogy, conveniently all in one book. As I was reading, I remembered why J.R.R. Tolkien was one of my writing inspirations. The words that he used are so vivid, so precise. I can see how he used his knowledge of history to create a new history. Most of my stories take place in different worlds that I've invented, so I understand the need to have a history to give the world an anchor to what the audience already knows and understands.
One day last week, I was driving home from school and was hit with a blast of inspiration, like I hadn't had in years. I came straight in the house and began writing for about 45 minutes straight; at the end, I'd nearly finished a short story. I realized then something that had been absent from my writing preparation: reading! A good writer always reads; I think that my lack of time for reading lately has impacted my writing. We'll have to remedy that.
While grading earlier today and thinking about getting these kids ready for testing, I thought how insufficient one test is to just someone's ability in anything. Some of my kids are masterful writers; however, catch them on a bad day, and you'd think that they couldn't write anything. Even as I compare their writing from the beginning of the year until now, I see how unfair it would be to judge them on work that they did in September compared to now.
By the same token, I can't judge myself on writing that I did when I was just starting as a writer. It's been 14 years (gasp) since I've started writing, and I've only continued to perfect my craft. One of my best friends was helping me to edit the last novel that I completed (back in 2009) and I was constantly cringing and moaning at mistakes I made. My best friend, however, kept telling me "don't forget, you've grown so much since then. Besides that, you have a really solid foundation in this story! You've just got to tighten it up, fine - tune it."
I'm still fine-tuning, I realized. Will it ever be to my satisfaction? Probably not. But as long as I have friends who encourage me, and who realize that sometimes they have to make me stop being so hard on myself, I'll keep growing. And hopefully in the future, others won't just have one piece of work to judge me on.
“Write the kind of story you would like to read. People will give you all sorts of advice about writing, but if you are not writing something you like, no one else will like it either.”
― Meg Cabot
Two Saturdays in a row I was on a plane for my Spring Break; last week I was just tired and forgot.
But I'm back.
And still tired.
State testing is upon us, which means that we are busily trying to show our students that the skills they've learned all year are actually the same ones on the test; even though they look completely different. As a teacher, I hate state testing. This is only my second year of teaching, and I hate it. I have far more hope that my students will perform well this year than I did last year, but I still hate it. Those things are not at all an accurate measure of my students and what they are capable of.
But I digress; this blog is supposed to be about writing, not education policies.
I made it a point during my Spring Break to read; one of my layovers was four hours, so I made sure to have a good, thick book with me. I brought the Lord of the Rings trilogy, conveniently all in one book. As I was reading, I remembered why J.R.R. Tolkien was one of my writing inspirations. The words that he used are so vivid, so precise. I can see how he used his knowledge of history to create a new history. Most of my stories take place in different worlds that I've invented, so I understand the need to have a history to give the world an anchor to what the audience already knows and understands.
One day last week, I was driving home from school and was hit with a blast of inspiration, like I hadn't had in years. I came straight in the house and began writing for about 45 minutes straight; at the end, I'd nearly finished a short story. I realized then something that had been absent from my writing preparation: reading! A good writer always reads; I think that my lack of time for reading lately has impacted my writing. We'll have to remedy that.
While grading earlier today and thinking about getting these kids ready for testing, I thought how insufficient one test is to just someone's ability in anything. Some of my kids are masterful writers; however, catch them on a bad day, and you'd think that they couldn't write anything. Even as I compare their writing from the beginning of the year until now, I see how unfair it would be to judge them on work that they did in September compared to now.
By the same token, I can't judge myself on writing that I did when I was just starting as a writer. It's been 14 years (gasp) since I've started writing, and I've only continued to perfect my craft. One of my best friends was helping me to edit the last novel that I completed (back in 2009) and I was constantly cringing and moaning at mistakes I made. My best friend, however, kept telling me "don't forget, you've grown so much since then. Besides that, you have a really solid foundation in this story! You've just got to tighten it up, fine - tune it."
I'm still fine-tuning, I realized. Will it ever be to my satisfaction? Probably not. But as long as I have friends who encourage me, and who realize that sometimes they have to make me stop being so hard on myself, I'll keep growing. And hopefully in the future, others won't just have one piece of work to judge me on.
“Write the kind of story you would like to read. People will give you all sorts of advice about writing, but if you are not writing something you like, no one else will like it either.”
― Meg Cabot
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