Can you believe that it's already almost February? I'm blown away by it myself.
The weeks seem to be dragging by, while the weekends fly by too quickly. And here we are again, at another weekend which will probably be gone before you know it.
I'm sad to report that I haven't done much writing this week. Circumstances beyond my control have left me collapsing into bed far past my bedtime, with only the energy to move a thumb (to scroll through facebook...) Not a great excuse, I know. But hey, as long as I'm alive there is another opportunity to start again.
I still have been daydreaming and imagining things, though. One of the crucial parts of my personal writing process is imagining what will happen in my stories; what people will say, how they will say it, and why. If you ever catch me acting strangely or talking to myself when I'm alone, chances are that I'm trying to find the right words to bring my imagination to the page.
When I was still in my teens and writing, my youngest sister once caught me scowling at the computer screen. "What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously, regarding me as if I was crazy.
"Um...trying to find the right word..." I said, embarrassed.
Though I laugh about it now, I realize that, in some respects, I have grown in confidence in my writing. True, allowing others to read it and give me feedback still terrifies me; however, I will actually give it to those I trust. I also find that I can whip up an example passage for my students and it be passably okay. My willingness to act out my words has also proven helpful in teaching my students the importance of the words that you choose in your writing.
Today I demonstrated the difference between "Ms. Ross walked across the classroom" and "Ms. Ross stumbled across the classroom." The kids immediately began giving other examples of how I walked across the classroom; I found myself having to stop them so that we could move on with the lesson.
I'm not the most confident of people, I'll admit it. But when I'm in my element, doing something that I love to do, I have just a wee bit more confidence. Maybe I can get it to spill over into other elements of my life, like singing. Until then, my writing will have to do.
One thing that I love about writing is that I can inhabit worlds that don't exist; I can be characters that exhibit characteristics that I wish I had (swordfighting. I really wish I knew how to use a sword, even though it really makes no sense). Writing allows me not only to experience them in a way, but to share them with others. I guess that's the reason that some (all) of my main characters have my quirks.
So I guess my point is, I write because I need the outlet. As we move into February, I'm hopeful that I can use that outlet even more.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
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